


You still need a name

by orphan_account



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha!Batman, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Beta!Talia, Canon-Typical Ableism, Imprisonment mentions, M Preg, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega!Joker, Talia Al Ghul mention, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 07:10:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It has been a month since Batman first chose the Joker as his mate, since then things had been quiet, or so it seemed. Now it seems that he will soon be welcoming a new addition to the family, as unprepared as he was he can't think of not keeping his child. His mate will be a bit harder to accommodate. There are promises to be kept, compromises to be made and a pup-to-be in need of a name.





	You still need a name

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Bittersweet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12591256) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> From the same author as Bittersweet.

Batman sighed.

Numbers scrolled across every screen of the Batcomputer from the tests he’d done on blood, hair, saliva, flesh, even bone marrow and they were all saying the same thing.

The Joker was pregnant with his pup.

The image on screen, barely more than a bundle of cells, confirms it. No matter how unlikely, no matter how much chemical death was flowing in the Omega’s veins, it had happened.

“All the tests confirm it, she’s mine.” He informs the Omega.

“She’s _ours_.” The Joker corrects from his position on his Alpha’s lap.

It seemed to be the Omega’s favourite spot to be, as soon as Batman sat down the Joker immediately climbed up and curled up against his chest. He tucked his head under the Batman’s chin where the scent-glands under the jaw would rub up against his hair. The ideal height for an Omega was supposed to be a head shorter than their Alpha to make this kind of scenting easier. The Joker was nearly a head taller than him but somehow managed to contort his body enough to make it work.

“Wait, she?” His Omega asks. “How can you tell, it’s just a jellybean!”

“Chromosome testing, to check on the pup’s health.” Batman replies.

“Tests, tests, tests, you can just come out and say it.” The Joker mutters. “You want to know if she’s going to turn out like me.”

“I didn’t say that.” The Batman sighs. It’s too early to tell what of his Omega the pup would inherent, let alone if it would affect the mental state.

“You didn’t say it very loudly.” The Joker playfully nips at his Alpha’s neck. “Is the big bad bat scared of having a crazy puppy? You’re happy enough with a crazy mate.”

Batman stops himself from agreeing out loud, he shouldn’t admit it but he’s not just enduring him, he’s not just putting up with him, he’s genuinely _happy_ with the Joker as his mate.

“I want to check it was mine.” He wouldn’t put it past the Joker to manipulate an Alpha into pupping him just to den in the Batcave.

The Joker whines.

“You’re my Alpha Bats!” He has genuine pained hurt in his eyes. “With someone else…I would never! I would kill them, I’ll kill anyone, everyone, but _my_ Bat!”

Batman immediately moves to wrap him in his arms, making comforting hushing sounds and nuzzling against the Omega’s neck to comfort him. The Joker nuzzles back and licks at the corner of his Alpha’s lips.

“I believe you, you’re my mate and the tests confirm you’re having my pup.” Batman says and the weight of it hits him. “God, you’re having my pup.”

He can’t stop the smile that’s spreading across his face. Joker laughs.

“There’s that beautiful smile of yours.” He kisses the Alpha.

“What am I going to do with you?” Batman mutters as he nuzzles up against his mate. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance I can convince you to stop the murder and mayhem for the sake of the pup?”

Joker barks out a harsh burst of laughter.

“I thought not.” Batman starts to stroke his fingers through his mate’s hair. “But I don’t think I could bear to fight you anymore, let alone send you to Arkham.”

“I den here, you promised!” Joker snaps.

“I did and I’m going to stick by it.” Batman promises him. “I’ll build you a room here, where I can keep an eye on you.”

“You have plenty of rooms upstairs.” The Omega points out.

Batman freezes.

“You know about upstairs?” He asks with his voice wary and low. “You know who I am.”

“Of course I do.” The Joker scoffs. “I may be crazy but I’m not dumb!” His voice drops into a song. “I may be crazy but I am not too duuuumb~!” His voice echoes across the cave. He flicks the Alpha’s forehead. “I know your deep dark secret, you wear that mask because deep down inside you’re really…Batman!”

Batman sighs and can’t keep a smile from his face.

“You really have a one-track mind.” He rests his chin on the Joker’s hair.

“Mmmm.” The Omega hums and settles against him. “But you loooove me.”

Batman doesn’t confirm or deny.

“You’re only staying until after the pup is born.” He keeps his tone crisp and professional.

Joker whines and give him puppy eyes.

“Don’t.” Batman is firm. “I have a duty to the city, to my family, to my _other_ pups. It doesn't involve trying to raise a child with an escaped lunatic.”

“Forget them!” Joker snaps. “For once it your life be really selfish. Run away with me, leave Gotham to the kids! We can move to a cabin in the woods, become a new cryptids.”

Batman ignores him. They both know that’s not an option but the Joker wouldn’t be the Joker if he didn’t offer it. 

“I’ll look after you until I can find someone to take her in...” He starts to say.

“No.” Joker is blunt, his tone is steel. Bruce is struck by a reminder of how strong an Omega with pup can be, an Omega could kill an Alpha with their bare hands if it was to protect their child. It rarely happened these days but Joker killed enough when he _didn’t_ have a pup to look after.

“If you take her away from me I will hunt her down and take her back. I will follow her scent to the ends of the earth and beyond and I will kill whoever and whatever stands between me and my child. I will raise this pup with you or without you.” Joker doesn’t growl or snap, he speaks with a cold, clear assurance that every word is true. Batman doesn’t doubt he can achieve what he threatens.

“You’ve had another pup with one of your enemies.” Joker adds, some of the tension, the quiet menace, leaving his tone. “You didn’t rehome him.”

“Damien is different; Talia’s a Beta, she’s not a known mass murderer, and I didn’t know he existed until he was ten. You’re an Omega, raising a pup is going to be an entirely different experience.” Batman points out. “What kind of life is she going to have with us as parents?”

The Joker shrugs.

“We’ll find out.”

Batman sighs.

“You are a terrible Omega.” He mutters affectionately and buries his face in the Omega’s hair. “Why did I ever pick you?”

“I picked you first.” The Joker says back. “Would it really be so bad to trust me? I can be a good mate.”

“Prove it.” Batman smirks. “Let’s make a deal. No murder, some mayhem and I won’t have to build you a cell...”

Joker gasps in mock horror.

“You were planning on locking me away? _Kinky!_ ”

Batman growls.

“You’re a menace to the city!” He protests a bit too harshly. If he was in the mood for honesty he would have to admit that the idea of his mate somewhere he couldn’t see him set his teeth on edge. He wants to see him safe, even if it means having to chain him to a wall.

“I’m _your_ menace to the city Mister and you need to own up!” Joker waves a skinny finger. “I’ll agree to no murder if you agree you’re going to treat me like a real mate. No sending me back to Arkham and I get to sleep in your bed with you.” He demands.

“Done.” The Alpha growls, he had planned on sharing a bed with his Omega anyway.

“I’m not finished.” Joker ignores his growls. “We go out. In public. Together. As mates.”

“That’s crazy.” Batman spits.

Joker laughs, a harsh, hoarse call like the cry of a vulture.

“Isn’t that just the pot calling the kettle bats. You could have left me on that rooftop, you could have medicated me, you could have mated me without marking me but You. Want. Me.” The Joker puts a leaden pause between each word. “Now I may be crazy but I can act sane very well, how else do you think I’ve eluded the World’s Greatest Detective for so long? You don’t have to worry about Bruce Wayne waltzing down the red carpet with a grinning psychopath on his arm, I’ll be a perfect polite Omega and then when we get home we can take the masks off and be ourselves, even if you need to put a mask on to do it. Agreed?”

Years of experience are screaming at him not to trust a word out of that perpetually smiling mouth but, god, he wanted to. The thought of his pregnant mate in an Arkham cell or kept prisoner in the Batcave set his teeth on edge. He wants him close, close enough to know he’s safe.

The Alpha leans in and mashes their lips together in an urgent and bruising kiss. He tightens a hand in the Omega’s green hair, swallows his mate’s small sound of surprise, and tangles their tongues together. The Joker’s pale arms wrap around him, fingers scraping toothlessly across the body armor. He kisses back, just as urgent, just as heated, and still tasting bittersweet. Eventually the Alpha breaks the kiss for air.

“You’re right.” He growls. “I do want you.”

“Doesn’t it feel good to admit it?” Joker growls back but his face is flushed and his voice wavering. He looks a second from abandoning words altogether.

“I will be watching you.” Batman warns.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way Lover.” The Joker folds himself closer against his mate. His breath is ghosting across the Alpha’s skin, teasing him. “We need to give this baby girl a name. I was thinking Nyarla.”

“Nyarla?” Batman asks, already analyzing.

“After Nyarlathotep, Father of Bats.” Joker babbles.

“We are not naming our child after the Crawling Chaos.” Batman mutters. “It might encourage personal attention.”

Joker closes the distance between their lips and Batman pulls him in close.

Jason was going to kill him, possibly literally, but that’s a problem for another time. Right now he just wanted to hold his mate close and safe and think of names for his pup.

Preferably ones that didn’t involve invoking Outer Gods or a cheesy pun.

**Author's Note:**

> The song mentioned is Crazy? Yes! Dumb? No! by the Mint Chicks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISkvWP4hDf4
> 
> I would love to hear your ideas on a name for the future little girl!


End file.
